Sure, Joe Biden seems like a nice guy. Great résumé. A decent human being. He may be the guy you were pulling for all along. In that case, congratulations! But even if he’s not your first choice, you have to admit: he’s not batshit crazy.

Show everyone that while there is a place in society for the mentally ill, they may want to put personal politics aside and vote for the guy who’s not the poster-boy for malignant narcissism, who regards living humans as animate objects, and prefers his refugee children, like his organic chicken, to be cage-free.